If someone’s absence brings you peace, you didn’t lose the person

Dear woman, if someone’s absence brings you peace, you didn’t lose the person, your life just got better. You shouldn’t forget this.

When I see women who complain about being treated badly by men who claim to love them, I shudder at how much these women allow these men get away with.

Even in friendships and business relationships, if someone stresses you more than they bring you peace and you show them the way out of your life, you didn’t lose them. Your life just became more peaceful.

In this part of the world, we were raised to accommodate people and their excesses due to many reasons. You are told that no matter what your parents say or do to you, you must accept them and not question their toxic behavior towards you.

As women, we were taught that marriage is endurance. They tell you that women are home makers and it is their responsibility to make sure that their marriages don’t fail.

Some Nigerian women measure the degree of their marital suffering with one another whenever they gather. It’s sad. All they do is gather, lament, whine and lament some more.

One woman might say her husband slaps her whenever she serves him cold food or tells him she’s tired to have sex while another will tell her that she’s lucky it’s only slap she gets.

This second woman will go on to say her husband beats her whenever he feels like it and insults her whole family in the process and the first woman will silently be thanking her stars that her case is better.

This is how this society expects women to talk and behave. Women are expected to endure everything men do to them. If you talk about the injustice meted out to women by men in Nigeria, you will labeled a man hater.

This is because these men don’t want things to change when it comes to how they see and treat women. They want to eat their cake and still have it which is impossible.

This is why I always tell women to grow some spine and don’t hesitate to dump men who think they are doing them a favor by dating them. Such men make terrible husbands.

So women, know it today that if someone’s absence brings you peace, you didn’t lose the person, your life just got better. It is better to be alone than to be with people robbing you of peace, joy and laughter.